These are the 2 things that are causing me a great deal of problems in my life...and things are getting worse. I guess, in reality, they have been this bad for a while, I have just been in denial of what has been going on. The truth hit me hard today though.
I have been having a lot more pain and stiffness than usual but have just been blaming the weather, moving the wrong way, or something else for the pain instead of facing the facts. Today I tried to stand at my work table to do the alterations on Kevin's pants and I wasn't able to do it. The pains from just standing there and trying to go through the needed movements were more than I could take. I have a high thresh-hold for pain usually. My days for working on large projects are over. I'm okay if I can sit and do the work, I just can't stand and do it. I kind of had a total meltdown for a little while as reality settled in today.
Kevin has been trying to tell me for sometime now that I was getting worse but I just wouldn't accept the facts. I think I knew deep down he was right but I just couldn't admit it until today. I have fought this battle so long and hard and have refused to believe what was happening to me but I guess I lost this battle. I will not just give up though. I will just have to adjust my way of doing things.
I have pain pills that I can take that do help the pain BUT!! they mess up my mind. I thought I was following in moms footsteps of having Alzheimers until I discovered it was the darn pills. I quit them cold turkey, and after a week or so my mind was clear again. I have a very low tolerance for medication and I'm allergic to a lot of meds. so I will have to deal with this the best way I can.
I know there are many, many of you going through this same thing. I would love to hear from you and hear how you deal with it. Maybe we can support each other through this.
I'm a fighter and I don't give up easy, just ask Kevin LOL he'll tell you how stubborn I am about everything!! LOL I keep a bar stool in my kitchen to sit on when I need a break when cooking or baking. It's not easy to sit on a bar stool and work in the kitchen, especially at the stove!
I think I'm starting to ramble, I'm getting tired.
Talk to you all tomorrow my friends,
Blessings and Hugs,
Brenda
7 comments:
Dear Brenda, I am so sorry you are in such pain. I have been praying for you. I know what it is like to have pain that keeps you from doing what you would like to do. I don't have it all the time but from time to time, I do have to deal with it. God has always seen me through it and I know without Him, it would be impossible at times.
You are right you can not give up. Just keep doing all that you can and look to God to give you what you need for all other things. I think you are right about the pain meds. They are good to some extend but they can also cause so many more problems. I just don't take them sometimes Tylenol but all the others scare me. I am like you, I want my mind whether I am able to do anything at all or not.
I hope things will get better for you maybe by Spring time. I really don't know much about Fibromyalgia. I just know that it is very painful. I will be thinking about you. connie
Oh Brenda I am so sorry to hear that you are suffering. I can relate. I have cronic pain and stiffness due to arthritus, and a serious spinal injury. Some days I don't get to do much at all. I had to stop working three years ago because of it. Also my specialist said he doesn't want to diagnose me with Fibromyalgia because he say's that means we are giving up on finding the source of the pain. But he did start me on Lyrica two months ago. At first I thought I would never get used to the medications side effects. But now I am doing much better as far as that goes. I was determined to give it a good try. I do think it has helped me a lot with being able to move easier. I have more better days now then bad ones. Any degree of better is good by me!I also take an antiinflamatory, antidepresent, and percocet the combo seems to work to some degree. I was rear-ended by an 83 year old man almost twenty years ago now. I was at a redlight waiting for it to change and he hit me going 55! That is when my life changed. I now have three vertibrae fused in my neck with complications, and partially herniated discs in my lower back,and of course arthrius in most of my joints and back. That lucky combo equals a lot of pain! This problem has basically ruined my life and changed my limitations. Some days the depression over that fact is terrible. But somehow I keep keepin on. I have been exercising faithfully since last May. Four to five and no less then three on a bad week I work out on the treadmill for an hour which is just over three miles. The treadmill is all I am aloud to do
:( But hey better then nothing. I admitt it is very hard to even think about getting on that thing, but somehow I force myslef. I will tell you it has helped with my energy and mobiity. So I totally get what you are saying girl-I have breakdown days as I call them which puts me in tears. I absolutely hate that I can not sew and craft like I used too. But I am here alive, not parylized, not in a wheel chair yet, and have much to be grateful for. I have to stay focused on the good and take each day as they come. I never ever thought I would be like this at my age, it is very hard to accept. I remind myself that the Lord never said it would be easy, just worth it.I hope you get feeling better soon, and hang in there! I will keep you in my prayers! ~Tam :D
Hi Brenda, I just happened upon your blog and I have fibro. also, 15 years. sorry you are feeling so bad, I know that feeling all to well. If you visit my blog, click on my profile and blogs I follow, then click on the one called Fibromyalgia- whats up. This blog belongs to Carol, she is a lovely lady who does fibro support groups and has good tips for dealing with the pain. Hope this is of some help and know you are not alone!
Oh I hope your feeling better now!!
Thank you all for your kind thoughts and prayers. I will be keeping all of you in my prayers also.
I'm sorry I haven't responded sooner , there is just so much going on in my life right now. I will tell about that in a separate post.
Blessings and hugs to all of you,
Brenda
Hi Brenda,
I'm sorry you've been feeling so poorly and pray that you're feeling better now.
I also suffer from arthritis and can relate to the pain and joint discomfort that it brings ... particularly when the weather's going to change and there's been alot of it lately.
I always enjoy reading your posts and appreciate our friendship.
Love ya!
Diane
Thanks Diane,
I know you suffer from the aches and pains too.
I hope you had a safe trip back to NB!
I always enjoy your messages too and value your friendship. We've been "friends" a long time. I hope some day we can actually meet.
Love ya,
Brenda
Post a Comment